Negotiate Your Way into a Beautiful Relationship

For negotiation to happen, two or more persons will be involved. It is a strong tool to reach a balanced decision and for everyone to have a deserving end of the stick. There are extraordinary ways to negotiate your way into a beautiful relationship.

What else? Negotiation does not just happen in a business environment, it can happen anywhere. In this context, we are going to look at negotiation in a romantic relationship.

You know what? Wherever crisis is bound to happen, negotiation is expected to be right there, seated and waiting for the parties involved to press the buttons. In essence, whenever two or more people have different choices but need to reach an agreement to be individually satisfied with the outcome, the best employee at that point is negotiation.

In relationships, couples fight. They quarrel. They misunderstand each other. It is all part of love. But when it becomes too unbearable, the relationship may be strained greatly and it may reach its breaking point. 

We should not let our misunderstandings get to a deteriorating extent when negotiation is a tool we could have employed to go to war for us. What should you do when you and your partner have different choices?

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How to Negotiate Your Way Into a Beautiful Relationship

There are certain ways to apply negotiation in a romantic relationship. It will work in your relationship if you find yourselves in antagonizing roads and looking for a way to move in the same direction. Yes, it is possible to negotiate your way into a beautiful relationship if you press the right buttons, which I explained below:

Offer a listening ear

This is a very important communication skill, and as negotiation is an aspect of communication, listening is needed strongly. If neither of you is ready to listen to each other, you are going to end up running in circles of arguments. 

Most of the time, you want to let it out the way you feel, the same way your partner is eager to. But when you understand the power of listening, you are on your path to a successful outcome.

Listening, as a negotiation tool, involves focused attention. You are not listening when you are just thinking of the next word to say after your partner has finished talking. 

Watch your partner’s body language, tone of voice, what they say, and how they say it. This will help you see things from their point of view and empathize with them.

Let us do it this way, when it is your turn to talk, talk, and when it is your turn to listen, listen. When you are talking, tell your partner your mind and when it is time to listen, pay attention to them. 

Try as much as you can, not to say anything like ‘uh!’, ‘hmm!’ and other related stuff that could make your partner feel you are not paying attention.

So, simply listen – and listen with rapt attention. That is a great tool for negotiation in a romantic relationship.

Don’t forget that both of you are a team. Always understand that both of you have a common goal – to make each other happy and retain your own happiness. When you both work together, there is always a way to go around a situation, no matter how ugly it is. When conflict arises, it is good to reach a point where both of you are satisfied.

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Find a way to balance things up

In negotiation, you are not thinking of breaking up, you are thinking of how to make things work out. You are not at war with each other, neither are you planning to win a battle against each other. You are simply looking for possible options that would leave both of you happy and satisfied.

For instance, you have where to go during the weekend and he wants to spend quality time with you. It may not always be easy in this situation. Here, you are going to first understand whose need requires urgent attention.

Could you shift your appointment to the following weekend? If it is possible, then, give your partner the weekend. If it is not possible, you can both agree to meet in the evening or postpone it to the following week. 

Do not be outright rude by making it look like it must go your way. Humbly explaining things to your partner with the hope of understanding is a better approach. Additionally, you could get them their favorite item at the mall or find additional stuff you can do to make them happy, even if it means crediting their account with little money.

When you focus on the fact that you are a team, you will always find a way around the problem.

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Know that negotiation often ends in compromise, instead of competition

Sometimes, you discomfort yourself to make your partner happy, sometimes he or she does so in your favor. At other times too, it might be that both of you are going to share in the discomfort just to make each other happy. It must not always go one’s way, that is selfishness and it leaves the other feeling cheated.

Negotiation makes the outcome a win-win one

You are a team, don’t forget. Learn to respect boundaries. Boundaries have to do with responsibilities. How much responsibility can you take for yourself and how much can you take for others? Also, how can you stand up for yourself without stepping on your partner’s toes?

Do not just think about yourself all the time and do not always place others before you. If you keep doing so, you will not be able to manage your relationship with others in the most appropriate ways. 

Healthy boundaries say you must balance things up. Take responsibility for yourself and respect other people’s choices. It is compulsory to do this if you want to negotiate yourself into a beautiful relationship.

For instance, you would love to see a movie tonight and she would not want to go with you because she does not feel like it. There is another way to go about it. Why not respect her decision and go with a friend tonight, knowing that she does not always turn you down? Maybe, some other time, you can find a way around it.

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Separate your desire from that of your partner

You must not always want the same things, it is certain. What would you prefer without considering anyone’s feelings? How would your partner’s preferences affect your own choices? 

Do not negotiate your way into a beautiful relationship based on an assumption of your partner’s choices. Talk about it and understand what their needs are. Then, reach a consensus.

Make sure not to go too far or too close with your boundaries

Remember you are dealing with a human being who has feelings. If your boundaries are too far, you might end up taking too much from your partner. If they are too close, you might end up pushing them away. 

Also, try not to assume what your partner wants. Ask questions. Be clear in your understanding. Sometimes you might assume things and end up hurting your partner while trying to please them or save a situation. So, using negotiation in a romantic relationship as a tool will save you that.

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Don’t always assume your partner owes you a return for your good deeds.

Just because you made some compromise to make your partner happy and you quickly assume that they owe you the same is gross selfishness. When you assume this and your expectations are not met, you might end up building up grudges and resentment over time.

To solve this issue, you have two options: give freely without expecting anything in return or let them know upfront that you would want a repayment, either in cash or in kind.

However, be human enough not to always expect something in return for your favor. You might be on your way to crashing your relationship.

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In conclusion, negotiation is a good tool that every relationship needs to make amendments when things are not going one’s way. Before taking any decision for both of you, negotiate and reach an agreement. Once both of you are on the same page, the aim of the negotiation is achieved. Learning how to win a negotiation while preserving a good relationship is healthy.

Always employ the tools and negotiate your way into a romantic relationship. It is a healthy thing to do.

I hope the article is valuable and you can now negotiate your way into a beautiful relationship. Leave a comment and share it with the people on your timeline.