Intimacy means closeness between people in a relationship, which is built over time. While you connect with someone (your partner in this case), you get to learn much about them and feel more comfortable with each other as time progresses. The closeness and support shared by couples in an intimate relationship are more of physical and emotional closeness. They share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They are open and freely express themselves without any hindrance. Intimate partners are vulnerable to each other and let their guard down when they are together.
If you are planning to build an intimate relationship, this article will take you on an exciting journey. I will also explain what intimacy is truly about and what it is not.
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What to Know About Intimacy
There are so many shades of definition people have in their mind about intimacy. They may be right or wrong. However, below, I will throw more shades about intimacy and why what you are experiencing may not be intimacy.
Intimacy is beyond sex. In short, it has nothing to do with sex, though intimate couples tend to have sex more often. Closeness through sex can also lead to other forms of intimacy. But tagging intimacy as just an activity of sex is not wholesome. Intimacy should not be reserved only for sexual partners. Some sexual partners would never get close to each other intimately, irrespective of how great their sex life is.
Friends develop intimacy over time. Whether same-gender or opposite-gender friendship, people can build an intimate relationship after a while. So, when friends are very close, they can build intimacy with time where they share bonds and do stuff together. In the same vein, family members could also be intimate. Colleagues can also build an intimate relationship devoid of dating and romance.
Hence, intimacy is not reserved for those in a relationship. However, if your relationship is devoid of it, you may learn how to build an intimate relationship in a great way as we progress.
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Factors That Help to Build an Intimate Relationship
Some elements are found within an intimate relationship. They help you build an intimate relationship and nurture it. They include the following:
- Acceptance: intimate partners accept each other, irrespective of their flaws and shortcomings. This is why very close friends can do anything when they are together without being judged. Some societally unacceptable things can be accepted within an intimate relationship.
- Trust: imagine your friend or family members carrying your deepest secrets in their head and sharing it with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. This will definitely weigh you down. So, before one can share the deepest secrets with people, he or she must have developed some level of trust with that person. Intimacy helps to build trust.
- Safety: you feel safe with your partner, which is why you can trust them with your secrets and dark sides. You let your guard down when you have built some level of trust with him or her. So, if you are not feeling safe with your partner, intimacy might be difficult to build.
- Honesty: without being told, lovers are honest with each other. They tell each other the truth. It does not mean that people should lie to those they are not intimate with. But when you are honest with your partner, you don’t mince words in telling them how you feel about a situation because you know that they will never judge you. So, if you want to build an intimate relationship, build honesty first.
- Compassion: a partner you are intimate with will always care about you. When you fail, when things refuse to add up, they are there for you. When you have not spoken to each other for long, they won’t be comfortable without hearing your voice. They forgive easily. They understand you and always look out for your welfare. Compassion is necessary in an intimate relationship.
- Affection: lovers do not find it difficult to kiss each other. They hug each other and lend their shoulders for the other to lean on and find comfort. They show up for each other and help without feeling obligated to do so. They do some romantic stuff for each other. These are all components of affection. To build an intimate relationship, you must not compromise on intimacy.
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Ways to Build an Intimate Relationship
Intimacy is built over time and both partners are expected to create and maintain it through patience and conscious efforts. When feeling and commitment are involved, intimacy can lead to a lifelong romantic relationship with a very strong bond. You can be intimate emotionally, sexually, creatively, spiritually, physically, intellectually, financially, etc.
Some couples find it difficult to attain intimacy in their relationship. Some reasons behind it: lack of good communication, relationship conflicts, pressures, financial problems, violence or abuse, negative experiences in previous relationships or childhood, and so on, contribute to this difficulty.
Remember that intimacy is built over time. As the relationship accelerates and both partners make efforts to come together, it will be rewarding over time. To build an intimate relationship, you and your partner are expected to do the following:
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Do not bottle up your feelings when you are with your partner. When you are not getting the best of your partner, discuss it.
Celebrate your relationship.
Appreciate your partner and tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them how much you value them. Let them know by vocalizing it and acting it.
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Understand that every day is not Christmas.
Relationships have both good and bad times. There are times when it will seem that things are not working well, and there are also times when both of you are in your best mood. Either way, enjoy the ride together and discover ways to spice it up. It will not always be rosy, but you can make rosiness out of an ugly experience.
Take time to build intimacy.
Be together sometimes and enjoy each other’s company. Do stuff together and focus on each other. You are a gift to each other, cherish and nurture the gift.
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Be grateful and positive.
Remember both of you are gifts to each other, appreciate each other and always look out for the best. Be positive, even when things refuse to measure up. Be patient with each other and ensure that you are both growing in love. The more you grow with each other, the happier you become.
When there is any issue seek help.
There are times when things happen and both of you may not be able to handle it, seek help together and speak to a counselor or an elderly couple whom you trust enough to give you a fair judgment. Read books, attend seminars, listen to tapes, learn from others’ mistakes and success stories, etc. These are ways to work through your difficulties and differences.
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Intimacy is a very crucial factor in a relationship, besides feeling and commitment. Strive to keep it warm and enjoyable. Do not tear it apart when you can work it out. However, if you encounter irreconcilable differences resulting from factors like violence, it might be better to get separated. Aside from that, work your way to the top together.
I hope you will implement the above to build an intimate relationship with your significant other. Leave a comment and share it with them.
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