Creating More Romance in a Long-Term Relationship: A Guide to Rekindle the Spark

Romance in a long-term relationship is inevitable. When you’ve been together long enough, the honeymoon phase may feel like a distant memory. Life takes over – bills to pay, errands to run, extended families to attend to, Netflix shows to binge – and before you know it, romance has packed its bags and checked into a motel somewhere far, far away. You may not understand how everything happened because it slowly does, even when you seriously don’t want to go that way.

But fret not! You can build a strategy to create more romance to bring back that spark and keep it alive. I want to show you how you can do it. However, understand it requires the effort of two persons – you and your partner, of course. So, here we go!

Ways to Create More Romance in a Long-Term Relationship

1. Prioritize Quality Time Together

Life is BUSY. Work, family, social obligations—they can all eat away at your couple time. If your idea of togetherness is scrolling on your phones while half-watching a TV series, it’s time to rethink. Quality time is beyond that. You may not understand it until you find yourself drifting apart, and that is exactly what I want to help you avoid here.

• Schedule “us time” like it’s a business meeting.
  Book date nights into your calendar. Don’t just say, “We will hang out this weekend.” Be specific. Is it Friday night at that new Italian restaurant? Sunday morning pancakes at home? Planning it makes you more likely to follow through. Don’t forget, it is not a one-man show. Both of you should sit together and plan it. Trust me, nothing beats that experience.
• Go tech-free.
  During your couple time, no phones allowed. Yes, that Instagram story can wait. Look into each other’s eyes instead of at your screens—it’s a lot more romantic. Talk. Laugh. Observe things and people in the scene. It is all a better way to connect than letting technology control you.
• Try something new together.
  Familiarity is comforting, but it can also breed monotony. Take a salsa class, learn to cook sushi, or even try axe-throwing if you’re feeling adventurous. New experiences create excitement, which helps you build a more romantic vibe. Do these together and enjoy some breath of fresh air outside of the normal stuff you do together.

2. Communicate Like You’re on a First Date Again

Remember those early days when you hung on each other’s every word? Bring that back by reviving real conversations.

• Ask open-ended questions.
  “How was your day?” is fine, but “What’s something that made you laugh today?” or “What’s your biggest dream right now?” goes deeper. Keep the conversation fresh.
• Listen—really listen.
  When your partner shares, don’t just nod and say, “Mmhmm.” Respond thoughtfully. Show that you value what they are saying. The same way it makes you feel good when you are listened to and heard, your partner deserves to feel that way, too.
• Revisit old memories.
  Talk about your first date, the time you got lost on that road trip, or the inside joke that only the two of you understand. Nostalgia can build a stronger romance foundation by reminding you why you fell in love in the first place.

3. Create Small Romantic Gestures That Speak Volumes

Romance doesn’t have to mean grand gestures like surprise trips to Paris (though hey, if you can swing it, go for it). Small, thoughtful acts are just as impactful. Are you deprived of some helpful ideas? Let’s see what I have for you below:

• Leave love notes.
  Tuck a sweet note into their bag or stick a Post-it on the bathroom mirror. It could be as simple as “Thinking of you” or “I appreciate you so much.”
• Surprise them with their favorite treats.
  Show up with their favorite chocolate bar, coffee order, or snack. Nothing says “I care” like knowing someone’s guilty pleasure and indulging it.
• Compliment them out of the blue.
  “You look amazing in that sweater,” or “I love how kind you are to others.” These compliments remind your partner they’re cherished, not just for their looks but for who they are.

4. Keep the Physical Connection Alive

Physical touch is a powerful way to create a more romantic atmosphere, and it’s not just about the obvious. There are so many ways to get this attraction fueled and fun.

• Hold hands.
  Walking to the store? Watching a movie? Reach out and hold their hand. It’s a simple yet intimate gesture that says, “I want to be close to you.”
• Hug for longer than usual.
  A quick pat on the back doesn’t cut it. Hold each other tightly, even for just 20 seconds. Those moments of physical closeness can foster emotional intimacy.
• Don’t skimp on the kisses.
  Kiss each other good morning, goodbye, and goodnight. Bonus points for spontaneous kisses. It is one of the best kisses you can enjoy and give to each other.

5. Inject Humor into the Relationship

Laughter is the glue that can hold any couple together, especially in the long run. I know you know this. So, don’t joke with it. Be humorous and extend it to everyone else, especially your significant other.

• Share inside jokes.
  Cultivate your own quirky humor. Whether it’s mocking a bad commercial or nicknaming the neighbor’s dog, these private jokes create a special connection.
• Don’t be afraid to be silly.
  Dance ridiculously in the kitchen, speak in goofy accents, or have pillow fights. Being playful keeps the relationship light and fun. You may be surprised to discover the more fun side of you that you never believed existed.
• Laugh at life’s hiccups.
  Did one of you spill coffee on your shirt or burn the toast? Laugh it off together instead of stressing out. Finding humor in everyday moments helps build a more romantic vibe by making the mundane memorable. You don’t have to be serious about every mistake your partner made. Sometimes, overlook things. Other times, laugh it off. That does not mean you should not talk about it if need be.

6. Keep Surprising Each Other

The element of surprise keeps relationships fresh.

• Plan mystery dates.
  Tell your partner, “We’re going out. Dress casual.” Then, take them to a fun, unexpected place—a picnic in the park, a drive-in movie, or a scenic overlook. Normally, men initiate mystery dates; only a few women do. Don’t let it be one-sided. Either of you can do it at any point.
• Leave little surprises around the house.
  Slip a sweet note under their pillow, leave a cute drawing on the fridge, or place a small gift where they’ll least expect it.
• Recreate your first date.
  Go back to the place where it all began. Order the same food, wear something similar, and relive that magical day.

7. Share a Hobby or Goal

Couples who grow together stay together. Find something you can do as a team.

• Work out together.
  Whether it’s yoga, jogging, or trying out a new workout challenge, sweating it out as a duo is both fun and rewarding. Register for a fitness class or enjoy the atmosphere around you if you have enough space.
• Start a project together.
  Redecorate a room, plant a garden, or build a scrapbook of your favorite memories. These shared efforts help you bond while achieving something meaningful.
• Set future goals.
  Plan a vacation, save for a shared dream, or even take a class together. Working toward something builds excitement and deepens your connection. It must not be expensive. You can plan something within your financial capability and still have the same contentment as those who planned big.

8. Celebrate Each Other

Sometimes, long-term couples forget to acknowledge how amazing their partner is. Don’t let this happen to you.

• Show gratitude often.
  Say thank you for the little things, like making coffee or doing the dishes. Gratitude fosters appreciation and love. Your partner deserves your gratitude. When you appreciate them for the little things, they will be glad to do more.
• Celebrate milestones.
  Birthdays and anniversaries are great, but also celebrate the “just because” moments. Cheers to surviving Monday together or finishing a tough work week. You will enjoy it when your little efforts are applauded by the very person you love the most.
• Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader.
  Did they crush a presentation at work or finally fix that squeaky door? Praise them! Everyone loves a little encouragement. They will feel elated if it comes from you rather than any other person. This does not mean it others cannot applaud them.

9. Don’t Forget Self-Care

Creating more romance in your love life doesn’t mean neglecting yourself. When you are happy and fulfilled individually, your relationship benefits.

• Take care of your mental and physical health.
  Exercise, meditate, and do things that make you happy. Your partner will appreciate the best version of you. You will also appreciate yourself in your best version. So, take care of yourself holistically.
• Pursue your passions.
  Whether it is painting, playing guitar, or mastering the art of sourdough, having your own interests makes you more intriguing and balanced. Pursue it with passion and achieve something, no matter how little. You will be glad you did.
• Encourage your partner to do the same.
  A supportive relationship is one where both partners feel empowered to be their authentic selves. Hence, encourage each other. It will help to spark up the love in your relationship.

10. Keep Growing as a Couple

The best relationships are ones where both partners evolve together. That is a plus for you if you grow together.

• Have regular check-ins.

Sit down and talk about how things are going in your relationship. Ask what’s working, what could be better, and what you’d like to try. Both of you should be involved and open to each other. Don’t hide your feelings.

• Read or listen to relationship resources.

From books to podcasts, there are countless resources to inspire and guide you. Why not create more romance in your love life by building a library together? You will appreciate it if you do.

• Be patient and adaptable.
  Life changes, and so do people. Be willing to grow with your partner through the ups and downs. Please, don’t remain in the same spot while your partner grows.

Wrapping It Up

Romance in a long-term relationship doesn’t have to fade with time. By making intentional efforts, communicating openly, and keeping the spark alive with little gestures and shared experiences, you can build a more romance-filled connection that lasts a lifetime. Sure, it takes work—but isn’t your love worth it?

Now, go on and surprise your partner. The dishes can wait.