Have you Been Having Emotional Affairs? 8 Sure Ways to Know

Emotional affairs are on the rise and the reason behind this is not farfetched. People spend a considerable amount of time outside the home, at work, places of worship, the gym, and so on. This affects a better part of them and determines the outcome of their lives.

However, it is not really about spending time outside, it is about whom we spend it with. We easily connect with people wherever we go because human beings are social animals.

We are wired to relate with others in ways we never could explain. Now, the advent of social media has made it an easy affair. Connecting to people these days does not take anything again and distance is no longer a barrier.

Some platonic relationships can easily metamorphose into deep emotional relationships. It is never a planned action. When the person looks attractive to you or possesses those qualities you desire in the opposite sex, particularly if they are lacking in your spouse, attraction is bound to take place.

When the attraction is sexual, it could slowly (or even rapidly) pull you away from your spouse. You never planned it, remember?

That takes us to the meaning of an emotional affair.

Before then, read how to build an intimate relationship that lasts here

What is emotional Affair?

An emotional affair occurs when you invest more emotional energy outside your marriage and receive the same from the new relationship. You receive more emotional support and companionship from the other person while feeling closer to him or her than your spouse. As a human being, you only have a certain amount of emotional energy.

When this energy is not geared towards your spouse, where do you think it could go? Most emotional affairs start on a platonic level. The intention was never to bond beyond casual friendship. But it goes deeper from that casual level to becoming close friendship and emotional affairs. Some of them go beyond that to flings and sexual affairs.

In addition, emotional affairs are different from micro-cheating, according to Clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD. He defines micro-cheating as “moderately small actions which just cross the threshold of appropriateness with a person other than one’s partner.”

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How to know if you are having emotional affairs

Below are ways to know if you are having emotional affairs:

Frequently contacting the other person when you are far apart

At ungodly hours or times when you should focus on something else (your spouse), you try to ‘keep in touch’ with the other individual. With social media platforms giving room for video calls, you spend a considerable amount of time engaging in all sorts of communication and having a ‘nice time.’

When something good or bad happens, your first instinct will be to contact the other person first. Due to the emotional connection, the other person is usually the first you reach out to. When you encounter a bad day or get good news, your spouse does not occur to you first, but to the other person. It is a sign you have been having emotional affairs.

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You frequently think of the other person

This other person saturates your thoughts. When you wake up in the morning, when you are about to go to bed, in between your daily activities, they fill up your mind. If you are going to a place where you are likely or certain to meet this person, you get conscious of what to put on or how you behave. The first thing that would occur to you is if he or she would like your dress style and when they see you. Again, you would check his or her countenance to see how much they approved of the dress.

You find an excuse to be with the other person

You will always create time for the other person, finding even the lamest excuse to see, talk to, be with, and have a great time with them, not minding the consequences. Even if the consequences are going to be deadly, you won’t mind bearing it.

You lie or keep secrets because of the other person

Mostly, the lie is by omission. You don’t give details of a thing because you are going to implicate yourself or expose the stuff that’s going on behind the scenes. You give reasons to your partner for not calling or picking up calls, texting, meeting, coming home early, and so on. Besides, you delete messages from your phone or end calls with the other person at the sight of your partner or someone who could decode what is going on. You hide to pick up the other person’s calls and lie when asked where you went to, or what you were doing, or largely, deny communicating with him or her.

When you begin to hide things or lie about issues that concern the other person, it is a red sign. Let me ask you, how would your partner feel if they eavesdrop on your conversations? That is what we are talking about! As long as your partner feels bad, you are having emotional affairs.

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You feel the other person understands you better

This is mostly why you feel great discussing and chatting with them. The person has taken over the place of your spouse and you are likely to talk to them about stuff you would rather discuss with your spouse.

You discuss very personal things with this person

Such things as the problem you encounter in your relationship or marriage; instead of discussing them with your partner, you would prefer to talk to the other person about it and whatever he or she tells you to do is what you would do. Most of the time, they give you advice that would draw you away from your partner and you become dissatisfied with them.

You compare the other person to your spouse

Each time your spouse does something for you, you subconsciously compare the outcome to that of the other person. This makes you see your spouse as lesser than you usually did and they could begin to irritate you. Not only that; you may begin to become critical of your spouse, always complaining about their attitude.

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You give the other person more time than you give your partner

In short, the other person takes the place of your partner. Your partner has to complain about not getting affection from you or communicating as should be with you. All the attention your partner is supposed to get is transferred to the other person, leaving a big vacuum in your relationship or marriage.

An emotional affair is a dangerous affair. Do not let your emotions wander to the extent of cutting your partner off and placing another person in their position.

Clare Aririahu

Welcome to my world! 🌟 I’m Clare, the proud founder of lovemeandtour.com website. I’m passionate about connecting people and helping them find love. Join me on this exciting journey and let’s spread love together! 🌟 #LoveMe #Travel #Passionate